Of Real Lives and Roommates
by wikelia
Summary: Modern AU. Astrid is SUCH an annoying roommate, and Stormfly is SUCH a good online friend...
1. Chapter 1

**Not Denial Part 2, but I saw this prompt online and was like AHHH YESS**

 **(P.S. I shouldn't be writing I should be cleaning the hell out of everything what am I doing)**

"All I'm asking is that you keep your stupid dragon drawings on _your side."_

His dragon drawings were _not_ stupid. In fact, the one she had found had been a Deadly Nadder, one that was actually based off his best friend. And Astrid had _no right_ to insult it, especially since it _hadn't_ been on her side.

"You liar! That _was_ on my side. You know what was _also_ on my side? Your stupid soccer ball!"  
He saw her flame up, saw puffs of breath escape from her nose. If she was a cartoon character, she'd be turning red right now. Not to mention punch him in the face if it wouldn't land her in jail.

"Just shut up, Henry!"

"Why don't you?"

Astrid flung her hands into the air, before making a choking motion with them. With a final glare, she turned around and dropped onto her bed, taking out her laptop.

Hiccup glared right back, knowing she was way too used to walking all over people. _Someone_ needed to bring Astrid Hofferson down a peg or two. He got out his phone and sat on his own bed, sighing and relaxing against the pillow.

Roommates. He'd wanted a roommate. Well, he'd gotten one, and she was the most horrible, mean, rude person he'd ever met.

Honestly, why couldn't she be more like _Stormfly?_

Speaking of her, his phone buzzed, and he grinned and opened up the chat.

 _Stormfly: Argh, my roommate's being annoying._

He snorted. Oh, she thought _she_ had it bad? He'd like to see her meet _Astrid,_ and live to tell the tale.

 _NightFury: Same_

 _Nightfury: Only worse_

 _Nightfury: I cant stand her_

 _NightFury: Shes annoying_

 _Stormfly: You know what I can't stand?_

 _NightFury is typing…_

 _Stormfly: The fact that you have no regard for grammar, babe._

 _NightFury: Vaccums that dont clean carpets?_

 _NightFury: Oh_

 _Stormfly: XD XD XD_

 _Stormfly: Dork._

 _Stormfly: Such a mom friend._

 _NightFury: I am not a mom friend miss_

 _NightFury: Why cant i be a dad friend_

Five feet away from him, Astrid laughed out loud. He shot her a quick glance, wondering what _she_ was doing.

 _Stormfly is typing…_

 _NightFury: Help i think my roomie is laughing at mw_

 _NightFury: *me_

 _Stormfly: You're a mom friend because I say you are. Suck it up._

 _Stormfly: Your roomie and me would get along_

 _NightFury: …_

 _Stormfly: What?_

 _NightFury: Its your roomie and I_

 _NightFury: Grammar child_

 _Stormfly: Did you just tell me to use grammar?_

 _NightFury is typing…_

 _Stormfly: I will end you._

 _NightFury: That i did milady_

 _NightFury: Nooo dont end me_

 _Stormfly is typing..._

 _NightFury: I like me_

 _NightFury: SO ARE WE MEETING UP OR NOT_

 _Stormfly: I'll end you anyways._

 _Stormfly: YES._

 _NightFury: Yay_

 _NightFury: Also rude_

 _Stormfly: Gah, I'm so excited. And I'll be away from my horrible roommate nighmare._

 _NightFury: I bet hes really dashing and you just have a crush_

 _Stormfly: What happened to what WE had?_

 _NightFury: Your cheating on me_

 _Stormfly: Cause you set me up._

 _NightFury is typing…_

 _Stormfly: I bet your roommate is really hot too_

 _NightFury: No shes not_

 _NightFury: Not as pretty as youuu milady_

 _Stormfly: Ever a flirt._

He smiled at the screen. They had acknowledged that they liked each other a while back, without seeing each other even once. He didn't know if that counted as online dating, because they didn't refer to each other as boyfriend and girlfriend or anything. It was just innocent flirting. But he wanted to meet her. Badly. And tomorrow, he'd get his wish. Stormfly was going to meet him in a small cafe only a block away.

 _NightFury: Seriously though_

 _NightFury: Storm_

 _NightFury: Im excited_

 _Stormfly: Me too :)_

And with that he put his phone down and closed his eyes. He heard Astrid sigh disappointedly at something but she didn't put her laptop away; she just kept on going. Knowing very well he'd get in trouble, he got up and closed the lights.

Astrid's head snapped up. "Turn it back on, Haddock."

"No _._ You have laptop light," he grumbled, "night is a time for _sleep._ I have a date tomorrow."

"So do I. It's not my fault you're a lazy loser who can't be bothered to turn off his own alarm. And laptop light isn't very healthy."

"Then turn it off," he snapped, making his way back to the bed.

She snarled and picked up her laptop, making her way into the living room.

 _Good riddance._

Hiccup was meeting Stormfly tomorrow, and he was happy. He would not let _Astrid_ mess up his good mood.

 **Part 2? Probably.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Soooo I didn't get my hair straightened like I planned, my mom and I just drove around looking for a salon that wasn't too expensive and was in this state. We did not find one. I am disappointed because my hair looks like a train wreck as usual.**

The sun was shining, the birds were chirping, it was a happy, happy day. He was meeting Stormfly today. _Stormfly._ His online best friend for a few years now. He was meeting Storm. Finally.

They had never told each other their real names, on purpose, but today Hiccup was determined to learn everything about her. _And_ ask her out. Properly. Hopefully, she wouldn't be _too_ disappointed by him. But what he loved about Storm was that she didn't seem to care what he looked like. They showered each other with compliments on a daily basis.

Astrid, however, was an entirely different matter.

First, she kept banging on the door while he was showering, then, she scolded him for five minutes straight for taking too long. Then, he remembered that he could yell back too, and they had another shouting match.

Astrid left before Hiccup did. It was weird, that her date was around the same time his was, but really, he was _way_ too excited to care. Quickly, he texted Stormfly.

 _NightFury: You already there? Im leaving_

 _Stormfly: Halfway :)_

" _Shit."_ he muttered, grabbing his sneakers and shoving them on. It was not a good first impression to be late, and by Thor's name, he wanted to make a good impression. His phone buzzed again.

 _Stormfly: You don't need to worry though XD. I just left a bit early to get away from my roommate. Apparently he has a date too._

 _Stormfly: Really, don't worry, Night. You could be a day late, and I'll still fall hopelessly into your arms._

He rolled his eyes as he left the apartment, knowing she was being sarcastic and that _he_ was more likely to fall into _her_ arms. Such was the life.

Hiccup walked fast, reaching the cafe very soon. And then he saw a surprise - Astrid was sitting at table, drumming her fingers. She didn't see him, and he quickly slipped into a seat where she _wouldn't_ see him, and quite possibly start a shouting match right there and then in the cafeteria. She seemed to be waiting for someone.

How odd it was that they both had dates, at the same time, _and_ in the same place? Amusedly, he wondered the chances of Storm having a brother. Or sister, whatever Astrid was into.

The cafe was mildly busy, many people were streaming in and out, but not enough for the place to be suffocating. He'd thought they would grab something and head out.

Now, the question to ask was: where was _Storm?_

He didn't want to text her, or make himself seem too desperate. Maybe she had made a pit stop somewhere else, or maybe she was in the bathroom. Hiccup wasn't going to annoy her by sending a dozen "where are you" messages.

His gaze fell back on Astrid, who was starting to look impatient, and, if he was honest, a little hurt. Maybe some guy had stood her up? No matter how much he wanted to feel amusement at her expense, he'd been stood up by someone before, and it wasn't a great feeling. He supposed he _did_ feel sorry for her. No matter how rude she was, no one should be asked out and then find out some jerk was playing a prank on them.

Why was he focusing on Astrid anyway? He had a date with _Storm,_ who would never stand him up. She was great and fun and cool and -

What guy would stand up _Astrid?_

Hiccup hated her, he really did. But he couldn't deny that she was extremely pretty. Her blonde hair, blue eyes, and sharp wit were something that lots of guys would find attractive, so honestly, what kind of guy would just _ditch_ her like this?

He didn't know. And he didn't know what possessed him to go over to her table and sit down in front of her.

Immediately, her eyes narrowed at the sight of him. "What are _you_ doing here?"

"I - uh - saw you sitting alone, and -"

"And?" Astrid snapped, hostile. She leaned back, angrily crossing her arms.

Oh, did she have to be so stubborn? He was trying to be a decent person and help her out, so couldn't she just do the same? For once in her life, could she just stop being so damn _rude?_

"I wanted to help," he grumbled, "I mean, did someone stand you up?"

" _No,"_ she hissed, "the guy I'm meeting is way too sweet. Unlike you. Just cause _you_ got stood up doesn't mean -"

"Whoa, Miss Prissy, slow down." He glared at her. "The girl I'm seeing would never stand me up. She's just - well, I don't know where she is, but -"

"Spare me your sob story. _I_ would stand you up, you git. Don't compare your date, who is probably a bimbo if she's seeing you, to my online friend."

Hiccup froze. _Online friend?_ Could it be that - no, that just wasn't possible. There was no way that Astrid was - but...he had to check, just to make sure.

"Storm?" he asked hesitantly, knowing that she would probably call him an idiot for spewing out random weather types.

Instead, her eyes widened almost comically, and her mouth fell open. She whispered softly, as though afraid, "...Night?"

Oh _no._

Well, this would be interesting.

 **Why did I stop there? Cause I'm lazy and horrible. HORRIBLE, I tell you. And because I'm going to see if I can straighten my own hair with our flat iron (I probably can't and will burn myself oh Thor wish me luck).**


	3. Chapter 3

**I...should have done this yesterday? I swear I would have, only due to that holiday, I came back home around 12:40 AM and then was dead the whole day. And then** _ **last**_ **night, I decided to stay up till 3 AM to watch Voltron. And** _ **then,**_ **I decided to watch Hercules instead of doing this. And then we had to go to a dinner party. Hopeless case #1, right here *waves arms frantically***

The silence was thick, and frankly, kind of annoying. He had spent a few _years_ imagining how this moment would go. Him and Stormfly would be all "oh, it _is_ you!" and hug and then talk and laugh and get married and then he'd stop writing fanfiction. Whatever the case, _this_ was not what was supposed to happen.

Astrid cleared her throat. "So…"

Hiccup didn't say anything, just stared up at her a little awkwardly, not really _knowing_ what to say.

She shook her head in frustration. " _How_ can you be NightFury? You're…" She sighed. "You're nothing like him."

"You _don't know_ what I'm like, Astrid," he pointed out, "all of our, er, conversations, are just us insulting each other."

"It's not my fault you're a stubborn, lazy, messy -"

"Would you look at that," he muttered dryly, "you _totally_ know who I am. Well done, Astrid. _Well. Done."_ He mock applauded.

Astrid scowled, and sat back, narrowing her eyes at him. "I may not know _you,_ but I definitely know NightFury."

"I thought I knew Stormfly. But I didn't enough to realize I was _living_ with her," he responded tiredly, resting his finger on the bridge of his nose. The worst part about all of this was that his natural response to stress would be to talk it out with Stormfly. But he couldn't do that, because Stormfly _was_ the stupid problem here. "Astrid, this is just all so messed up."

"I know," she mumbled dejectedly, putting her chin in her hand and drumming her fingers. He leaned back, crossing his arms.

Astrid was Stormfly. Stormfly was Astrid. His online best friend was his annoying roommate. They were the same person.

"Well...now what?"

He looked up to see her staring a bit hopelessly at him and he forced himself to remember that she was just as disappointed as he was, probably even more so. Her mind was in the same turmoil.

"I suppose...we could...try...to be friends?" Hiccup offered, rubbing his neck. It was the lamest idea he had ever had, and it was cliche, but he had just found out that his best friend was his mortal enemy. And since that sounded horribly cliche, why couldn't he? Take that, life.

Astrid nodded, a set look in her eyes. "Yeah, you're right. Nothing much else to do."

Despite everything, Hiccup grinned at her words.

"What?"

"I think this may just be Hiccup and Astrid's first agreement."

"Why are you talking in the third person?" she asked, tilting her head.

He waved his hand. "Because NightFury and Stormfly agree on a lot of things. But Hiccup and Astrid don't."

"Oh. I see."

Now, the silence wasn't really _tense,_ just awkward, something he hoped would never happen. Attempting a weak smile, Hiccup said jokingly, "So tell me about your annoying roommate."

Astrid's lips quirked upwards. Huh. Astrid Hofferson was smiling at something he said. Miracles _could_ happen. "He's on a date right now. Apparently I'm much prettier than _his_ annoying roommate, though."

"Oh, yes. You have _no idea._ But you know, I think you kinda look like her."

This time, Astrid outright laughed. "Yeah _._ And _you're_ Jay Baruchel."

"Only if you're...um...America Ferrera."

"Oh, I hate her."

"I hate Jay Baruchel's voice." **(1)**

From there, conversation sprung. Stormfly and NightFury were brought out, the conflict between Hiccup and Astrid forgotten for a little while. They _did_ order some drinks eventually, and tried to get to know each other better, only to find out, of course, that they knew each other quite well already. And when they were leaving, it took the pair a moment to realize that there was no need to say goodbye, they _lived_ together. It was easy to forget. Hiccup didn't see her as Stormfly, he saw her as Astrid.

But that wasn't necessarily a bad thing. _Astrid_ wasn't necessarily a bad thing.

In fact, he was having quite a lot of fun with her.

Safely in his bed, he was about to hit the pillow and crash when his phone buzzed.

 _Stormfly: Well, back with my annoying roomie._

She was in the living room, texting him. Hiccup grinned and his fingers flew across the phone.

 _NightFury: Hey but today was fun. I seriously dont think that your roomie is that bad_

 _Stormfly: :P You don't know him._

 _NightFury: True true. Goodnight milady_

 _Stormfly: Night, babe._

And for the first time since he'd moved in, Hiccup didn't think that he would rather be with Stormfly than Astrid.

 **(1) For the record, I don't hate Jay Baruchel or America Ferrera. Just put that there for the comedy.**

 **Whelp, that's done. YAY!**


End file.
